That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
