just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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