I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
