I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
