i may or may not be watching the land before time
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
