Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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