We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
