You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
