Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
