Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
