How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
