So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
