Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
