a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
