What a fucking waste of an outfit
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
