and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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