Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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