walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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