woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
