dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
