new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
