I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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