Welp...herpes.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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