I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
