I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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