He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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