Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just want to make out with him forever
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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