An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
