i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
