I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Panties = found
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
