Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Come share oat with me in your robe
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
