you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
