Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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