I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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