If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
