Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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