fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
These tits shall not be calmed
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
