Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
