If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
