Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
