tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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