sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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