so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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