I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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