he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
