I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
