Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you traded sex for a burrito?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
