There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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