I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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