I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
